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Well, I'm not English native, so my grammar and pacing is a bit off, also, I can't write too often, you know third world country schedule, but I try to write at every opportunity I have

So, if you have notes or advice about pacing, I'd love to hear them, I need to improve

No slight intended, writing in another language is fantastically challenging and I applaud you for doing so, as I said it reminded me of earlier Games Workshop lore.