Okay... can I just say that I'm absolutely IN LOVE with your art style. It has such a unique, storybook charm to it. The character design is also fantastic. I love how unique everyone looks. The music's lovely as well... and the finished backgrounds are stunning!
Now onto the story! Sooo yeah! I deffs enjoyed it. I dig the whole "kids as we know them but in a midieval setting" vibe. I really really like Derin's character. Not just her determination and her being so ready to defy this world's stereotypes, but she's got a GREAT voice. My favorite line was when she was telling her mom about the fight with Narcisa and said the same line twice but one was bolded xD I can't remember the specific wording anymore but I loved that. Also the sympathy for the green beans thing was great.
Also bringing in the mysterious girl was a great way to stir up the tension. You deffs ended the whole thing on a great cliff hanger! I'm for sure eager to learn more and will definitely continue reading as more updates come out!
That being said, there were a few things that bumped me a little here and there.
First off, at the beginning with the chicken chase... it's a great scene to start with! But I'm not so sure about giving the chicken a human girl's name like Henrietta. Given it's such a chaotic scene where we're being introduced to three female characters at once and they're all like calling each other's names, it's really difficult to track everyone there... which is very risky at the beginning of a visual novel, because that can turn people off.
Three simple ways you could make this opener easier on the reader:
1) Have dialog boxes labeled with names so we know who's talking right away.
2) Change the chicken's name to something less human like Sir Cluckster. Or maybe it's a male chicken like Fredrick!
or
3) Have a character make it clear VERY early in the scene that Henrietta is a chicken, by having a character call attention to the potential confusion, like having someone say "Who names a chicken HENRIETTA" and then Lettie says "She's like my daughter!" or something of the like.
Second thing that bumped me a bit: I wasn't really able to figure out how old Lettie is. Sometimes she gave like an 8-9 year old vibe, like talking about the scene with fighting Mary and the "kids at school" and other times she seemed much older, like 14-15, talking about marriage, or saying "my dear Henrietta." I recommend doing a read through on her dialog and watching for lines like these to make her voice a little more consistent :)
Third, during the encounter with Narcisa and her brother, as beautiful as the art and animations were, I thought it was a bit over-animated. Having it swipe fade between the two arguing parties was a little too time consuming. Might be better to have all the characters on one screen there? And also the animation of Narcisa and her brother rotating to switch places felt unnecessary most of the time. With the exception of the "OHOHOHOHO" part (love that btw), because there the rotation means they're laughing in her face :P . Everywhere else, I think you can do without it.
Finally, there were a few times where exposition elements felt like they were repeated too many times. Examples are the mention of the hunt, the code of honor, becoming a Banner Knight, and the academy. I do understand that the reason for the repetition is becasue Darin has to explain certian things to different people, and that saying she'll be a Banner Knight a lot is part of her character, but even then it still felt like a bit much. If possible, see if you can go through these exposition elements and see if any repeated stuff can be condensed just a tad. I think it'll perfect the pacing and add a whole new level of immersion to your story! :)
Of course though, all of these are tiny little things to make this already great story even better!!
Congratulations on such a well done first chapter. Keep up the good work. I can't wait to see what's in store.
Good luck in future development!
-Sasha