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(+4)

No insult to you Milo as it seems you have spent a lot of time and effort on making this game but it is very hard to be drawn into the story with such poor English. 

I strongly suggest you take up the offers of people to reword it. It's very confusing. 

(+1)

Yeah , big agree. It's unfortunately very distracting and confusing and makes it hard to focus on what's actually happening.

I'd definitely say have someone look over it and correct it. I'd reccomend the dev check Fiverr; they might could find a cheap script corrector person there