I only played this for a bit but I'm having lots of FUUUUUN. This is definitely an improvement and I'm glad to see you guys are working hard on this to make it a great story to read. But so far, the characters and narration are natural and not forced as they engulf us in the story and leave room for action.
The narration is also descriptive and filled with emotion. The dialogue and sentences aren't stale as we even get good in depth information for action. I would honestly play this for weeks in a row without sleeping Must play1!