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Melancholy Marionette3 years ago(+2)

Alrighty, this might end up getting kinda long-winded, so apologies in advance x3

Firstly, I just want to say that this is absolutely beautiful. The solemn tone and atmosphere of the game really drew me in right from the title screen all the way through to the first (and so far only) ending I've got to: ending number 3.

I'm trying to play at least a little bit of all the games from the jam since that's my favourite way to celebrate finishing a jam :3 So I'll definitely be back to see what the other 2 endings have in store once I've got more time!

I guess the rest of what I have to say would come under...

SPOILERS 


Now, I feel like a bit of an idiot, and I certainly don't wanna be presumptuous or anything like that with what I'm about to say, especially when stories, songs, and the like can have different meanings to different people, so I'm not gonna sit here and assume you were going for something in particular. I  just wanted to share with you how I felt playing through to the ending that I did since I've suffered with depression and anxiety for most of my life and was recently also diagnosed with bipolar.

So, I was wondering at first if Haze was just in Willow's head, but when she brought Ella down to the lake, that kinda went out of the window, haha. That didn't bother me in the slightest though. It was the choice where Haze was going to leave that really sort of resonated with me because I was already quite immersed in the story since I tend to wander out into nature when I'm feeling at my lowest, and almost always find solace in that sort of calm. In a way, I just feel at peace with myself in those moments, and that's not a way that I feel very often. So being with Haze felt naturally calming to me because it reminded me of the times I've stood in the middle of nowhere, just breathing and taking in the sounds of nature, and feeling like time is standing still. That things aren't actually as bad as they seem.

Sorry, rambling x3 So when Haze was going to leave, I kinda felt parallels with conversations I've had with my inner self in the past, my depressed self. And viewing Haze as my depression, or my mental illness in general, I almost choked up because I know deep down that no matter how hard it is to live with something like that, it is a part of me, and I'm not sure I'd actually want to be without it.

I've tried so many medications and stuff in the past, some with awful side effects that completely took away who I was, and when I eventually came off of them, it was like someone switched the lights back on. Depression is truly awful, but some of those medications somehow made me feel even worse than the way depression makes me feel. They made me so hollow. Like I wasn't even a living person. I'd rather be stuck with pain than feel nothing at all.

So yeah, I didn't want to send Haze away x3 No way! It would be like telling that part of me to get lost, as I have done so many times throughout my life.  And I don't think cutting myself off from that part of me is the answer. I think that trying to live alongside it, accept it, and I guess try my best to love myself for who I am is the better thing to do. I wouldn't be me if someone took that part of me away completely.

Sorry for the giant ramble >.< It's just it's been  a while since a game resonated with me like that! Please don't feel like you have to reply x3 And I'm sorry if you're just sat there reading what I've written here thinking, wow, she's really interpreted that in a way I wasn't intending >.< haha.

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Cryoslight3 years ago(+1)

SPOILERS

Thank you so much for the lovely comment!! It makes me really happy to know the story was thought-provoking and meaningful to you. I'm also glad you got End 3 first because that's the "true" ending, the ending I was hoping players would gravitate towards.

The story is (very) loosely based on things I've experienced or witnessed in my own life. I relate to all three characters, to be honest. The game is kind of a letter to my past self who was always wrapped up in anxiety and felt like I was ruining my own life with my actions. It's a reminder to myself that I'm in control of my own life and it doesn't matter if others disapprove of my choices. It's my life and I'm allowed to want what I want.

You're absolutely right with your interpretation - the story is about accepting and loving all parts of yourself, even the parts that are scary to others (and maybe even yourself). Haze is a character on their own, but they're also kind of an allegory for depression/other struggles with mental health. Something dark that perhaps doesn't scare you, but you know it would scare others if they knew, and it can become this big secret you need to keep hiding. But really what both you and your struggles need most is acceptance and understanding. That's the message I wanted to send, I guess. To accept all parts of yourself, because pretending they're not there won't make you happy. I think you described it more eloquently than I did. :D

Thanks again for the comment, it made me feel like I did something right. :)

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Melancholy Marionette3 years ago (2 edits) (+1)

I guess I better put everything under spoilers as well x3

SPOILERS

That is so beautiful the way you describe it as being a sort of letter to your past self! I've certainly been in that place, and in many ways still am >.< but I'm slightly wiser and slowly learning better ways to deal with everything. And I'm so glad that you're in a place now yourself where you can look back like that.

I really love that Haze is also a character of their own :3 It's completely unrelated to a lot of the stuff I talked about feelings-wise, but I was so wrapped up in splurging all that that I completely forgot to mention just how much I love Haze's character design! It actually reminds me a little of my favourite summon ever from a video game. The spiritmaster's wind spirit summon from the MMO, Aion. Only they kinda ruined its look in an update once it got past its 4th stage by just changing the design completely instead of progressing with each evolution xD Haze is how I wish they had made it look! In fact, I kinda imagine Haze as what its final, oldest and most wise form should have appeared as. 

This was the concept art. Then this is how the final form looked at the time I played the game most. And then this is how they butchered it in an update for the new final form. It's not even the same creature anymore T_T Give me something like Haze for the final form instead, darn it!

And heck, you definitely described it the most eloquently because you made a game where that feeling really struck me! I think it'll linger in my memory for quite some time to come :3

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