Capitalism indeed!
You have a strong style going with the art and music. It's all very rough and gritty, which fits the story and the overall tone of the story. This sort of rough hand-drawn style is rare in games, even visual novels, which makes it stand out. There were a few points where the music and the events of the story didn't fit together perfectly (e. g. a very aggressive sound track playing when you're sneaking through the Divine Comedy-inspired labyrinth), but for the most part it all matched very well. The very limited use of colour (mostly reds and blacks) really adds to the athmosphere.
As for the writing, I think it works. I could follow the story well, and I was interested in seeing how it ended. The whole thing was very surreal, which again matched the rough style of the art. You do have a few typos and small grammatical errors in the writing - for example, it says "getting a job this days" in one of the screenshots you posted, when it should be "these days." Nothing too bad, but it can be a little distracting. I'd recommend running it through a spellchecker or getting a beta reader, especially if English isn't your first language.
As a visual novel, there isn't much gameplay here, and there doesn't really need to be - it's not the point of the experience. The choice system works well, for what it is. It does seem a little harsh to kick the player all the way back to the beginning when you make an error, though. Perhaps you could have a few checkpoints along the way, or a way to skip scenes you've already seen?
All in all, I have to say I enjoyed the experience. It was interesting and harsh in a way you don't really see that often.