As a blasphemous adaptation of the Christmas tale, this succeeds. As a miserable tale of its own, this also succeeds. Where this fails, however, is keeping my cursor from clicking the 5th star. I gotta!
A massive inverted crucifix of gratitude from me to you, my dude. That's exactly what I was going for: blasphemous, miserable, and 5 stars. But, seriously, this was the first thing I ever made and I am really pleased with how it turned out. I'm glad you dug it.