Damn good. Feels like an art film made into a videogame, or a "kino" as the kids would say. Liked the composition and the story, and the first person section was impressive.
I have a feeling you were trying to make the racist girl sound kind of crude/rude and informal, kind of like Kuroyanagi. I noticed this almost at the end when I realized that she was speaking "street speak" ("You been" instead of "You have been", etc.).
I can't exactly put my finger on why, but it didn't really come across well. Maybe it's because she doesn't look the part, but I think it's something else. Like she doesn't always act like Kuro, and it ends up being confusing. Maybe it's because she's a bit too nice sometimes? Like I couldn't figure out what exactly her character was.
Also, please stop making your characters say the word "cringe".
Kino.
