There's a lot of strong, evocative imagery here. A lot of the prose flows like it would in poetry which may dissuade some from this work but I personally enjoy. Additionally, it was an interesting take on the theme which I believe could've used a bit more buildup to the payoff at the end.
A lot of the strengths of this piece are hindered by the technical aspects of the work. It would benefit from having more apparent structure to the journal/black box storytelling aspect as in most places it became difficult to follow. Near the end it became somewhat confusing who was telling the story at that point but that may have just been me. It also would not hurt the piece to break up the paragraphs into more sentences.
Overall, with the distinct imagery and beautiful prose to prop it up, the story would've been a more solid piece if it had more time to bake in the oven. Good job though!