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There were strong moments here that really lent to the action and tone of the story. The choice to frame Takai's reflection to be part of a mission report may feel weird to some readers but I think it was done well enough in a believable way.  I really like how you also fleshed out other factions by perceiving them through the lens of an Eternal Dynasty captain. 

I also appreciate that there's a certain level of self-awareness to Takai in the line "Learn of the threats to their oppressive benevolence." It could've been just a throwaway line but it adds another layer of nuance to the character. Nicely done!

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Thanks, did you like the line disconcerting peace or in the wise execution of his parents? Really liked yours as well!