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Set in the imaginatively futuristic world of SPACE, Love Bandits attempts to be another saphic film written by someone who has had little interaction with actual lesbians. Most of the effort of the film appears to be put into the admittedly excellently crafted blend of miniatures and CGI.

When our protagonist Speef encounters her ex-girlfriend Skroob, they dedicate a significant amount of their lives to fighting against one of the many corporations that are killing so many planets in the currently fictional Saphrios galaxy. Their relationship, up until the ending scene, is stunning to see that characters this gay can be seen in hollywood, and would be a breath of fresh air, were it not for that ending scene.

The imaginative worlds do little, however, from distracting from the bisare character design choices. The two notable examples are the wizard character and the main antagonist. Merlin appears to be dressed like a wizard from a low-budget classical fantasy world rather than a character who looks like they belong in the world, and whose characterisation appears to be split between “i am an example of transgender representation in a world that doesn’t care about what gender you are” and “i am a wizard man who is written so that the writer, Adam Driver, can act in the film in a way that is comfortable for me, Adam Driver, to play”. The antagonist, equally, doesn’t seem like they belong in a mostly human/robot society, considering they are a CGI weasel.

The chase scene set in the Highway of the main planet appears to be inspired by the works of Michael Bay, what with the exploding mopeds left and right, which is almost bizarrely the scene where Speef professes her love for Skroob. If it were in another film, it would be basically a perfect confession scene, but set in an action scene with very little downtime, it feels like it could have been put somewhere else.

But the biggest scene is the ending, which is without a doubt the worst scene I’ve seen with regards to LGBTQ representation. The actions that took place seem written less out of a desire to end this way and more like it was written to spite people that had suggested changes.

It’s got a little something for everyone, though, and if one ignores the story, it’s an enjoyable hour and a half. I rate this 7 out of 10.


[OOC: played this with some friends. We created a number of different reviews for 3 different films that somehow became a trilogy ala the Cornetto Trilogy. This game is so fun. Thank you]