For a first game jam entry: Thumbs up! Good world building, plot and characters here, to refer to the main page ;). Also it has replayability to get all the events.
What did I like
- The progression of the story through actions more than through words. You used the actions of the protagonists to tell the story between the lines, while the conversation at some points only showed how they try to get along with the situation by playing it funny and joking around. That is a really nice approach to tell the story. A good mix. Well executed.
- You made a theme choice and added a dark theme, that gives bonus points ^^
What can be improved
- IMHO the save and load features are not so important here. I played through the story a couple of times but I haven't used them. I simply restarted. So - if this took you a bit of time to implement at all - save that time next time :)
- A nice quiet ambience music would have suited that game well, to further underline the story. If you ever in need of such things, ask in discord or here in the discussion forums. There are a lot of friendly composers out there eager to help you.
- Since it is fully text, you could have used some more features of text to spice up the game a bit. For example, when writing DANA or YOU, you could have used a slightly different color or font or write it italic. Or you could have given the both of them different colors, only slightly colored above the main color (so: I do not mean neon colors, you know, just some bright pastel or so)
- Although it said: YOU all the time, the story in my head was those of two people, that I was just witnessing. I think this is due to the fact that the story is not relatable to me right now. I think it would have been just as efficient to tell the story from the 3rd perspective.
Overall I liked your game and I think I played trough all possible events. Now that you have some experience in making such a game, I hope to see another INK game of yours soon :).
Keep up the good work!