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I didn't play this one yet. But by this post, I feel that you are on the right track.  When I think of starting my own VNs I have a similar process in mind.

A common mistake I see in some VNs is forgetting the visual part of the novel. You don't really need to describe something if its already showing (for short: show don't tell).

I remember one time when the MC of some novel i don't remember the name did the same monologue to every new character he met. It got boring and annoying really fast.

This post did make me feel encouraged to try it. High hopes for chapter 5.

(+1)

In defense of some devs:


In general I agree. The concept of "show not tell" is important, and it's something people don't always grasp. That said, sometimes there's just no real choice.


For example, I can think of 2 particular scenes where I most definitely "told" and didn't show - this was unfortunately, purely due to technical limitations. In a perfect world, we'd all have unlimited budgets, with the best hardware, but unfortunately that's rarely the case. 


It sucks, but sometimes as devs, despite the vision, we're at the mercy of budgetary limitations, particularly because all but a very small number of devs do this part time as a hobby - very few make enough money to pursue it full time. The truth is, the majority are amateurs just trying their best to put together something they hope people enjoy. Sometimes we succeed, and sometimes we fail. 


Me personally? This is my first attempt into what I hope will be a long series of games - my honest hope is that this one is enjoyable to people, and also the worst one I'll produce. 


Of course not ever game is going to be a masterpiece, in fact some will unfortunately suck - and some people ultimately just won't be cut out for this. But for my part, I'll keep trying to improve, keep trying to see what I can do better, and hopefully create something I can be proud of.