"the player might fall for it during their first playthrough, and even if they don't just reload right there and then, in subsequent games they're bound to pick instead "fuck it, am out of here" "
There are more outcomes to that scene than those two, though you may not be able to access them if you don't have either the correct relationship stats with Padmiri, hypnosis, or aethereal chains.
"* kind of surprised me oral interactions are limited to one-sided dominant/submissive arrangements, and there's no 69 position for equal opportunity oral actions"
I've stopped adding generic sex actions until the first adventure is finished, more will come later.
"* for herm characters mutual penetration tends to be very common in the game (like, multiple times in nearly every encounter common) but in "reality" it's pretty hard to pull off as it'd require quite specific body arrangement, sort of a reverse cowgirl and 69 crossover."
You can prevent this from happening by disabling the "Multiple full sex continued actions" option in the settings.