I think most critiques I can have has been discussed in the discord already but I'll rewrite them anyways. When it comes to making a book, you can have as much story ideas you can have but you're ultimately limited if you don't have the available paper for printing the story content. Games are kind of like that.
I disagree, it's not the size, it's how the size is broken up. The wizard of oz is a 14 book extravaganza that spans years and many characters. It's a HUGE Americana fantasy universe with so many interesting characters and settings that it puts Tolken to shame. It's problem is a lot of the early books after the first one got info-dumpy. My town it like that, and info dump with out enough meaning.
You mentioned you've studied writing for years and it shows. Your dialogue has been the most engaging for me to read of all the games I played. I think my only hiccup was the shock at Therese emasculating Harold by saying she's stronger.
I can see how you would take it that way since her back story isn't there at all yet. But she's from a warrior clan that's super strong. All the men in her clan could snap her, and Harold, in half with ease. Like a rottweiler talking to a corgi it's a different breed thing, not a gender thing.
I like to think about how writing literature entails using as few words possible. Map design works like that too. ---Game maps usually have just a few select functional areas like inn, shop and a couple filler buildings.
Again, it's not the amount, it's the quality and the parsing. If you have an info dump, boring and frustrating, but if you have ten times as much wording and info woven in to the story masterfully then it's a fantastic addition that builds the story world up and takes you on a journey.If visiting Disneyland and looking at their maps taught me anything, it takes a only a couple of street blocks to create a feeling of a big town.
I'm not a fan of Disney land, but that aside Disney land has it's own story to tell. It's built a fake city for that story. That's not my story.
You're a talented writer, with the right game design strategy I know your best strengths will be put forward
Thank you. I know I need to parse better, and add all the content I need to make the map feel right for the size of the adventures I'd like my characters to go on!
Thanks for the feed back! I do appreciate it very much!