Greetings. It looks like you have made a fine game so far. Your art is attractive, and I want to see what happens next.
I think I found a few typos when I went through:
In Winston's letter at the beginning, it says 'alsot' instead of 'also'. It says that both in the text on screen and in the image of the letter on Lara's desk, which is oddly consistent. :)
The apparition says 'You are ready for me know'. Should be 'You are ready for me now.'?
In War Diary Fragment:
'Account of the exploits of Luciuis Mummius' You've heard the expression 'It's all fun and games until someone loses an i'? Well, it looks like you found an extra. :P (At least, I suppose his name would be 'Lucius'.)
'...her cries for mercy to the General were in vain...' Given the context, I expected it to say 'their cries for mercy'.
Other:
If you were making a film, Lara's BMW would probably have a right-hand drive. It's not a big deal. As a frequent international traveler, there are reasons she could choose left for a car. Take care not to show her driving on the wrong side of the road in England though. :)
Cheers.