Once can clearly notice from the way you have put these words that you are indeed an understandable person! Of course, you will be upset to see your game not even running, not along for someone to slightley attatch it to having a malware or anything!
You probably have been trying with the gamedev journey for so long! I had tried as well, for a period of time, all I wanted is to make games! Without getting to the sad story of mine with the gamedev, let us just say I got betrayed for my own ideas and hard work (Will never mention names when it is something this bad) It broke me, and I knew developing a game was not right for me at that time (Not even now, maybe a little bit down the road)... So I deleted my past, or at least a huge part of it!
Now, I am doing what you already mentioned in your own nice words! Thank you for that, really! It means a lot to me for seeing things as they are! And I do get it, life is not easy! For the whole YouTube thing, is just a bi-product from my Game Testing passion let's say! I wanted to help ppl out in the best way I can, the whole YouTube thing was just to showcase whta I can! Of course there are times where you think I should just stop this, but there are also times where you feel blessed or happy at least (Yes, me happy for helping others and happier when I know I have truely helped) Examples: https://itch.io/post/6143170 https://itch.io/post/6234690 So there is a good side of everything here!
My humble advice to you sir, you keep on what makes you feel better! Do what you love, but if it does not work for you after many tries, try to change it up a bit! Example of my YouTube channel: I wanted and still want to do Gameplay Walkthrough videos, but it is not going anywhere! So I changed that to game reviews, I even tried Top Best games here, Interviews...etc, So do try to change what you are using for developing your games! Try a different tool, try different assets, styles, coding...etc