I don't know how you think things happen "on their own". We change and grow because of the influences in our lives, whether they come from circumstances or other individuals. We get into a comfortable routine and do not change. A rudimentary understanding of psychology shows us this. It is only when we become uncomfortable, or someone enters our lives and changes our routine, that we are forced to renegotiate our habits. Growing through outside influences by interacting with others who exhibit the kind of personality traits that we value does not conflict with organic change, rather its necessary for it. We all like what we like, but I think your aversion is due to misguided notions about the relationship we have with our own psychological progression. No hate, all love. I hope you find what you're looking for.
You were born from a test tube in an artificial womb? You have no father or mother or both, and no siblings? You never went to school? You never had any friends, no acquaintances, no interactions with others? You never had a job requiring you to interact with people? You have never left your house and observed any other human in their habitat? You have never watched the news, watched youtube videos, you've never written in comments on visual novel pages? You never read any books, newspapers, magazine articles? You never listened to music? I don't know you, but I doubt you live in profound and absolute isolation from human contact. Even if you did you have millennia of human biological electronics and energetic waveforms in constant play within you that did not originate at the point of your birth. Despite your presumptions, you have never been on your own, and I doubt you're different. You're one more human living one more human experience. You interact with thoughts, feelings, ideas, and concepts beyond yourself, are affected by them, and in conjunction with, acceptance of, and resistance to those things, you grow. You're not alone, and don't grow on your own.