I think some more attention paid to introducing factions and characters would have paid off; I was having trouble keeping the various Jackals, Vultures, and rebels all straight. The fight scene was actually pretty easy to follow, though, which is an accomplishment as those can be tricky to write coherently. My other note would be that the concept of a psyker as an unconventional weapon, in the context of Grimdark Future, isn't all that unusual. Still, I'm looking forward to reading your submission for OPRWJ #6!