So you had me intrigued right from when I saw your moodboard feature a singer so prominently, and I wasn't disappointed in that area. I think this was a good use of an unconventional weapon that also fitted quite nicely into the theme and concept of the faction you chose to highlight. The story's grammar was very rough though, and could have benefited immensely from further passes for clarity. Your framing device of a TAO Coalition spy report further highlighted the grammar issues; I would expect TAO military communications to be very efficiently-written, without the descriptive flair and editorial asides the narrator used. Overall the idea was nicely creative, and I hope you can work on the presentation to really let your story's strengths shine through.