This is such a good entry, the fact its your first game is even more impressive! ^^ I can tell your gonna make some really neat stuff if you keep going with making games.
There really isn't much I could say that would be helpful to you, stuff you will pick up naturally yourselves over time. So I'd just say because this is probably your first game jam, to not be disheartened by the results, and keep doing game jams!!! :) You'd be surprised how many aspiring devs lose motivation after their first game jam, chances are we all score badly, its just how it is :')
And remember everyone here, playing/rating & commenting on your game are ALL game devs, not general audience who would be your players :) keep making games! this is way better than anything I could have made for the first few years, so you've def got this!