Realistically, you end up topping them (and later some male enemies in the swamp) via the tease command. Just keep using tease and you'll end up defeating them that way and ending up on top.
If you attack the female bandits and tease the male ones, the female bandits will stop showing up as well.
This will, however, make them not like you much. But realistically, that's just a way of getting at more bandits to defeat. ;)
I personally like making sure I have a lot of HP as well as appearance - you'll be taking a lot of hits as you attempt the process. in addition, strength is surprisingly valuable as eventually you start getting grabbed, and I presume strength helps you struggle out of it. My first cycle, I went with strength, appearance, and hit points - this seemed to do well, missing happened but was usually not the end of the world. (I have no idea if agility helps with your failing with the tease command or not, actually, but hey).