Hi scriptomancer! To answer your questions, I fell in love with his outgoing personality. He's talkative, good with friends, fun--overally the opposite of me who is an introvert. But we both enjoy reading, playing games, and anime. I've known him since I was a mid-schooler. He used to go to the same internet cafe as me and he was very friendly, like he greets everyone in the cafe when he goes there.
But funnily enough, I sometimes think our roles are reversed when we were dating. He's the one who's concerned about appearances, can act spoiled, and shy.
I thought; since he has a very friendly personality, he can definitely inherit his parents' building material store. I was very shocked when I found out he is very grumpy and rude at work. He can't even go up and go to work at 7, I had to ignore him for 3 days just to get him do this. After all, one of my beliefs is 'if my husband is good at work/hardworking, no problem is too big to solve'.
As for the mother in law, I thought I can trust him to talk with her if she gets too overbearing/perfectionist. But to my disappointment, he can't seem to stand up to her...
I really love the way you tell your husband, 'if you want to live your life like that, you shouldn't have married me, because it's not happening' 😂 I think I've told him something similar. Like, whenever someone talks bad about my husband I always told him 'you can live like this?' then he shrugged while I rolled my eyes saying I can't.
Once, I was very hurt because of his pregnant sister. So she was talking with the in laws, about what they hope the gender will be. Both of them said 'girls'. I thought okay. But then someone said, 'Yeah, because the boy in the family turns out like that..' like, what sin did my husband commit to be treated like that?
Which is why I think my husband is stupid for unable to see how unhealthy his family is.
He refused to move out because he said he doesn't have the money, saying he's broke after marrying me. But I've offered to use the gold I've received from Sangjit as front payment though? His salary and mine should also cover the monthly rent/installments. I've also offered for him to stay in my house with my mom, at least there would be only 3 people living in it, not 6, but he still said no.
After everything is said and done, the more I re-read our conversations & advices from all of you, the clearer my mind became.
I don't think his family sees me as an equal. For example, I've lived with them for almost 3 months and they haven't given me the house key. We also haven't processed the civil marriage certificate due to prioritizing his pregnant sister, which becomes a relief for me because we don't have to take this to court. I'm still single in the official documents lol.
So maybe this is for the best?
My only regret is I can't marry as a Catholic anymore...