Heya! Glad you enjoyed the world and monsters! “Odd and intriguing” and “gorgeous yet creepy” are high praises to hear as someone who enjoys world building and monster creation! This little project was I wanted to try and at least make a decent world for (and leave a little mystery for in what those relics are/why they exist) so I’m happy to hear I achieved it to some degree <3
as for the word count critique, I’ll definitely keep that in mind! Though, if I may inquire, is the lengthy word count an issue because this is an ADV novel written in a NVL style? I know the two styles aren’t typically meshed together so I’m wondering if that figures into it? I can see how that’s in issue in, say, the dialogue where it’s matched with character actions (I.e. something like [“I’m sorry,” Rean says, grimacing as he rubs at the back of his neck]). Or how maybe the paragraphs themselves feel too big for the space they’re in because that’s definitely an issue I realize hurts the mixing of VN styles OTL
And if not that, by tightening it do you mean I need to cut down on descriptions in total? I can see where some things might go awry - the second scene and the river scene coming to mind in terms of potential meandering (especially since I had to speed run the introduction of an alternate with none of the proper pacing) - but I’d appreciate knowing in more detail what could be tightened up if don’t mind me asking ^w^