Hey this was pretty cool. I wasn't sold on the second person until the second portion of the story, where it was weirdly hard to follow the text's instructions -- no other perspective would've been as effective. That was definitely the high point of the game (neat art in this part too).
They story's well-written too, but it sort of seems like a good standalone short story than a VN (aside from the finale, really). This might be a side effect of the large chunks of text in each box (difficult to read when it's running full length at the absolute bottom of the screen).