I think you've managed to squeeze a couple of interesting things in here. If you read it as a few words about introspection - and the internal friction that comes with it - the other elements turn out to be chosen very carefully and adding some meaning. Like the shaders - a simple, but interesting design choice - or the invisible platforms, or the quotes. And the idea you go with - I'm not a big fan of focusing on separation between self vs external world on its own (I'll blame Neon Genesis for that), but you're taking it a little further with the words about fighting yourself and it does add a lot of depth. I'll have to think about it some more. I think you could make the writing a little bit more grounded (though the review I'm writing might be the most pretentious on this jam :D) and expand the levels, or go a little further with your train of thought - but overall, I think it's a creative, thought-provoking composition.
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Thanks man. I find that not many people notice these kinds of philosophical musings, at least in the stuff that I've made, so it's great to hear from someone who did. I've been reading a text by the Dalai Llama recently, so you can see where a lot of the ideas came from. It's always been a great aspiration of mine to have someone really dig into and analyse one of my creations, so thanks for fulfilling that for me.
As for the groundedness of the writing, in the end it really came down to time. Coming back to it, I would spend a lot more time thinking about the writing tweaking it to be much less pretentious.