Very creative story and univers you've created there! I think your choice of instruments is really solid and felt cohesive throughout the piece.
I'm also not very confortable with working with synths so take this lightly, but what I would say is that maybe some of the synths felt a bit dry and lacked a bit of movement/morphing (especially for the leads you used).
With that said, this was a great entry and very enjoyable to listen to!