I liked the vivid descriptive details, although at times the prose edged a bit into overly florid for my taste. Almost everything contributed to the story except I think you don't need quite as much focus on the name and nature of the insectoid predators serving as the Sisters' garbage disposal. I found myself distracted wondering what the Revnecc had to do with the story, and it turned out they really didn't matter.
That out of the way, though, this was a good, if *intensely* grimdark piece. When I read a story like this, especially when religious indoctrination is involved, I'm always curious as to exactly what twist of personality or experience has lead the protagonist to rebel against her cultural and religious conditioning - now, don't mistake me. I'm not saying people can't *ever* go against their culture's values, because obviously that's not true. I'd simply be interested in learning more about who Shay is and how she's come to this point.