I always love to get your in-depth feedback <3
I've read your feedback twice, looked up words I didn't know (chromatic mediant mostly) and I thank you for taking the time to write this, with your clearly superior music knowledge. It still baffles me how you can even notice such things such as the chromatic mediant or the IV-I-V... presumably without even looking at the sheet music!
I hope to see you back again sometime, in some other jam. Until then, good luck with your own submission :)