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I can't seem to find it? There's just nothing there

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You have to be in story mode. When you start a game, you have the option for free play, and story. Story mode doesnt let you pick your class, race, or customize the player. Instead you are given a role to play, being the enchantress, and you set off. the first town is the one that looks like the one in free play. The second town is the one that looks like the one in monsters. You have to get past the mountains and right before it should be a ghost encounter and a hunter x vampire encounter. Once you are at the second town, you have this grey, frontmost structure in front of you. In that structure, there are two places to go. The one on the bottom is the shop. The one on top is the sperm bank. hover your mouse over it and you should see it, that and the words "sperm bank" are right on it. It does blend into the rest of the building so be careful.

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It's worth mentioning that Story Mode is only for Patreon supporters, those of us playing the free version don't have access to it, which is a little confusing that it's listed in the patch notes for the public (free) version of the game.

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Awww. Man, that sucks.