I think you've got something here, nice ambience, when you write Jojo and Sven well you write them well.
But I think you just need to edit more. The poop/piss train conversation, it just wears out it's welcome and keeps going. I'd recommend approaching it like writing a novel, write a whole lot and then throw out a whole lot to only keep the cream of the crop.
A lot of the conversations feel just random like I'm peeking in on someone else's IM conversation. I think if it all felt like it was building to something I could stay more engaged.