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You might want to create more than just 1 minute's worth of content before releasing a POC. First impressions are important and this just screams "Give me money" without actually giving me a reason to want to.

That aside, I recommend some fairy Onahole action as well as some cumflation, since those are quite rare but pair together really nicely. 
I look forward to seeing what you release next, and hopefully, it's much more fleshed out.

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I appreciate your feedback. I want to tell this story one short chapter at a time with the input of my patrons via patreon poll. I will post the updates here as the story progresses:)