Magical girls hitting their 30s was a neat take!
We were fairly confused while playing this. Keeping track of who was talking and what was happening was not easy. We'd recommend sprites for all characters, and make sure to slightly light them up or raise them to indicate they're the one currently speaking. Another handy trick is to give each name a unique color to further clarify.
We enjoyed the world the characters lived in and the atmosphere/mood it expressed through the writing.
We'd also like to advice a more distinct visual difference between spoken dialogue and actions - make it clear if something is said or done, use quotation marks or other techniques to differentiate.
Cool artwork and good job!