Hi Ponydragon, sorry for the lateness of my reply. I haven't been on itch.io for sometime. I'm writing you thank you for your feedback, but I'm not sure I can change much based on your reply. Again, I'm very thankful that you gave me the time trying the RPG, but it seems to me that to apply much of your suggestions would be to actually not make it a solo tabletop RPG, but more of a common boardgame -- I believe this is your first time trying something of the genre? Sadly there's not much in the booklet to introduce about solo tabletop RPGs, although that would certainly make it more accessible, it also would make it much longer.
Nonetheless I'm very thankful for your comment, I'm sorry it wasn't much of your liking.
I did not try the game, as I wrote, I read the rules. I am not a solo ttrpg player. But I do have expericence in reading gaming rules, including ttrpg. Maybe you could tell by my nitpicking.
If you want to change things, there is only maybe the stuff about the unclear rules. Maybe it is a translation issue and the rules read clear as day in the original. I believe there was a translation error with the weapons as well. White weapons iirc and Fire weapons. That would be Bladed Weapons and Firearms, I suppose. (A Fire weapon would literally be a flame thrower)
And I tried to explain why it would not my cup of tea. Like with the killer behind the door. It kills the suspense (pun intended) if I am the creator and the player.
As a thematic advice, preventing your own death by going back in time in a horro scenario sounds cool. But that playing out as only a reroll sounds lame. A reroll is a known concept in tt. Calling it changing your destiny does not make it any better. And here comes the rule unclearness again. Maybe you meant that if you fail a second time, then you can do things differently. But it read more like, reality bends in a way that the need to do the roll ceases to exist.
The concept reminded me of the movie Happy Death Day, and I liked that one.
Hello again Ponydragon, thanks for your feedback. I'm not sure what do you mean by the reroll part -- the mechanical effect is to make the success margin greater, the narrative outcomes in TTRPGS are generally decided by the players. There is some help of the narrative implications in the middle of the manual, but that's admittedly very short due to my self imposed limit of pages. To quote a specific part:
"Lucky you for having the power to return
from dead, remember that it takes you to the last test you failed (the one leading to your assassination). You can choose to repeat that action taking advantage of your new acquired knowledge or start a new chain of events."
it's not my intend to give players a story as in a module, but a ruleset and guideline to build a narrative -- as traditional in manuals of tabletop rpgs played solo.
Thanks again for your time, even if you didn't play the game -- reading the guide is already much appreciated. I'll try to apply your advices best I can.
Must have missed that one. or start a new chain of events.
With the wording and the other rules it read like a reroll. It takes you to the last test you failed. Actually it does not. It takes you before that. Far enough, to actually chose a different path, or chain of events. It has to. If that chain C would follow after the test, you need not talk about a chain at all. Or was that fluff like, live another day.
You decide D your path, following is the chain 1 you do not have to test (at least not for your death), till the the critical test X, that you fail and die.
I understood it like coming "to the test" again. Placing the return R right in front of X, maybe even forcing you to repeat X. But your return has to be before D, otherwise you could not chose to do a different chain or repeat your mistake and try to reroll. 2 would be the new chain of events.
D111111X D111111RXCCC RD-1-or-2-or-?
If I understand this now correctly, you might want to change the wording to something like :
"Lucky you for having the power to return
from the dead. Remember that it takes you to the last decision that invevitable lead to your assassination. You can choose to decide differently, starting a new chain of events, or try again, taking advantage of your new acquired knowledge."
Oh, and this sentence might explain my confusion:
You return seconds before your death and can try to change your destiny – going back in time takes you to your last test.
If I take that literally, that is like being struck from behind and ducking, failing, returning, only to maybe run instead of duck (or reroll the ducking). No need to talk about destiny or chain of events. But if you were to return to the moment you decided to search that broom closet, you could change your destiny.
(Oh, and the bonus from fortidudes cleared up. It is 1. Scratch that nitpick)