I lost my dog too. We also thought we could have taken care of her better. She was the best dog. I'm sorry. Deep condolences. Take the time as much as you need, Chiel.
Thank you, Kris Akane. The joys and sorrows of a dog lover... We know it'll come sooner or later, but like a masochist, we come for more :') this one's grief hits me especially hard, so thank you for being here and please bear with me as I recover...