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(1 edit) (+3)

Hello again Mofu-sensei,  I hope you're doing well. I had a couple additional things I wanted to point out.

I think you may want to improve the gameover statement when you lose. The phrase "She fell down" seems off putting for some reason. The only statement that makes sense is when she drowns and you see the correct repsonse. Now I'm not sure, but are the enemies actually trying to kill Nene? I wasnt sure if saying "You died" was a good fit either. I dont know how serious the game is trying to be. But something about "she fell" seems weird. Maybe it's just me, but I'd like some additional opinions on this.

Next, I know this is still under development, but the part where you meet the mushroom guardian, she mentions you need to find the 3 other girls. But Nene says that she's seen them before. But if the guardian is the first place you visit before even meeting the other mushroom girls, then Nene's response doesn't make sense logically. Perhaps you may need to adjust her in-game  response so that you won't need to make any special conditions for the correct repsonse based on whether or not you've interacted with the mushroom girls.

The last thing I want mention is how Nene and Tilo interact for the first time. I understand that that Tilo exposes her fleshy hole to random travelers, but I personally wouldn't want to put my irreplaceable flesh stick in a random hole just like that (that's a scary thing to think about). Wouldn't it make more sense for Tilo to emit a sweet fragrance that lures Nene toward Tilo while also acting as an aphrodisiac to force Nene in a horny state. Now, combine that with Tilo's exposed fleshy hole, then their interaction would make sense. This technically is how some plants attract prey.

And If there are any plant based enemies in the future, then perhaps they can have similar abilities that put Nene into this weakened horny state. Even better if it's a boss encounter. 

(+1)

i'm pretty sure "fell down" is a weird translation of 倒れる, which can mean "defeated" or "fallen" (both in the literal and figurative sense). honestly i like it because it's a silly and kinda jank translation. but "you were defeated" is also a bit awkward and clunky. i wouldn't mind leaving it as is tbh.

Deleted 1 year ago
(+1)

Thank you for your great input!🤗 The expression "She fell down" means that she did not die. I did that because I wanted to show a special scene afterwards.

and, I agree that there needs to be a branch in the conversation with the guardian. I would add a process there to determine if she has encountered other mushroom girls.

And thank you for the idea of the scene where Tilo invites her to join her in her sweet scent. I would rewrite the text of that scene that way.

Deleted 1 year ago