Thanks so much for the feedback, I really appreciate it!
I'm glad my intentions came through so clearly, with the comedic elements. Modern isn't really a genre I write for much (95% of my commissions are 5e/PF2e, the other 5% sci-fi horror) so this was a nice departure for me. I'm not familiar with Vestigium, but you've piqued my interest.
I'm new and not a great designer, so Homebrewery is the only tool I am familiar with at the moment, but if you know of any other resources I would love to get a recommendation or two! I do want to improve, and your constructive criticism was most welcome! Sincerely, thank you.