Agree with the other commenter, would be nice to have some ambient effects/sounds. I don't think I can comment on the story itself, it's definitely not for me. I don't really read/play visual novels at all, so I'm probably not your target audience. I kind of lost the plot after the first few scene changes.
Only issue I saw was in the text history, there were some overlapping lines. Other than that, seems fully playable.