My only piece of feedback is this: On p. 32, you write, "Until recently, the machines sat in the embassy in Imperial City and U’Duasha". If that's where they were, why/how would one of them be on a train out of Doskvol?
Re: P32 - It's a poorly constructed sentence, and bizarrely something that popped into my head a couple of weeks ago. I think it was part of another idea that I dropped but forgot to edit the sentence. Will fix it, thank you!
