Great potential! This ambitious demo has a captivating art style and fantastic gunplay, though it could use some refinement. The dogs are a delightful touch, but for now you should consider removing the intro and focusing on the engaging "action sequence" to let players fully experience the unique and stronger parts of the game.
Introduce mechanics step-by-step to ensure smooth gameplay. For instance, provide instructions for using the gun at first pick-up, and introduce the slide mechanic before it's needed (to escape the armory).
For enhanced fluency and spelling, run your text through ChatGPT. Keep up the good work!