The switching around of acts confused me a bit and there were a couple of places where the section was the same but the continuity felt off, the only major one I can think of is when it refers to the pet, Chino, as a dog and a cat in the same sentence.
OTHERWISE.....
I totally love this!!!!
I get distracted and bored really easily, but the plot was super engaging and overall, it's really well written. You've got a diamond in the rough; this piece has a lot of potential and I look forward to seeing where it goes. Great work. I've been reading a lot of interactive fiction lately and so far, this is among my favorites.