I've been looking forward to this game since the Kickstarter and am very excited to see its progress! I absolutely love the art and direction, and wherever the game is going to go, I’m in. That being said, I have some concerns after playing the Prologue (I didn't play the previous Legacy demo so I will be solely focusing on the Prologue demo):
Firstly, without paragraph indents, spacings, or breaks to ease the eye, the written lines accumulate into an unwieldy chunk of text in each text box, hindering the reading experience. I enjoy story-heavy and text-based games tremendously, but the clumping of long lines makes the words difficult to follow and digest. With each click revealing a line that adds to the preceding bulk of text, the eye feels like it is weighed down without enough space to rest. I can tell the effort that went into the writing to provide immersive descriptions, but the presentation of the text box UI works against it.
Perhaps each new paragraph can be indented like a regular book format, or blocks of paragraphs can be spaced out more, or more padding can be added to the text box UI, anything that can direct the eye better. Having long lines in a text box is fine, but it is more about creating a certain rhythm and pacing of reading with the form of the text.
Another concern is the use of opacity to differentiate between the dialogue and action lines. I understand using this approach to distinguish between dialogue and action and give them some flavour, but as the opacity of the action lines was too faded, over time my eyes were strained in trying to see them. The shift in opacity between dialogue and action text becomes more jarring and distracting than fluid, I could read the dialogue more clearly simply because they were more opaque than the action lines, and it felt like a test on my eyesight sometimes haha…
This is also not to say that opacity on text shouldn’t be used, but it should be used for effect. Lower text opacity can, for instance, give the feeling of quiet and distance. It makes sense when there was a “new voice” speaking, such that the translucent text aptly feels like it came from somewhere distant, or when someone is trailing off, and so on. But otherwise, to use it throughout the story in normal situations, the effect feels out of place. When combined with the aforementioned clumping of words in a single text box, reading overall became quite strenuous. Even if the text effect and UI remain as a stylistic choice, perhaps there can be an option to consistently darken all the text for better visual accessibility.
Another side note would be to have clearer button feedback, such as giving a brighter highlight when hovering over a clickable button in the main menu, or even a sound effect. Such interactions can better inform the player of their input as well as give the game more ‘life’ as it responds to the player.
On the narrative side, I find the prologue to be an interesting direction in setting up the main story, though I’m left with a bit of mixed feelings. This is mostly because the prologue is a small piece of the whole pie so I can’t judge the whole yet, but then again it’s also the beginning piece that frames the rest of the pie and sets up expectations. I enjoy the use of outsider perspective in stories and it is great to see how Eri develops apart from the main narrative, realistically showcasing how the threads of one person’s life can be both entangled with and stray from another, all while building up the main characters. The ending of the prologue provides intrigue as Eri’s tiny arc ends while the main characters’ concurrent stories are yet to be explored.
While I enjoy this narrative approach for the prologue, I wished for a little more hinting at the main narrative and characters. When interesting tidbits regarding what happened to the main characters apart from Eri’s narrative were dropped at the end, the narration swept by it and continued to march on towards Eri’s conclusion. For instance, rumours that Sakai threatened Ashikaga with a knife? That sounds both badass and distressing! But for something that holds much emotional weight, the game brushes over it, circling its trajectory back to Eri, seemingly in haste to wrap up Eri’s story. While I like that the prologue didn’t overstay its due, there wasn’t exactly a strong sense of what the main narrative is about, and I left the prologue feeling like I know more about Eri and her small journey than the main characters due to how little we see of them and their conflicts (which are supposed to be the star of the game). Because it is so detached from the main narrative and self-contained, the prologue feels more like a side story than a framing of the larger story that is to come. It’s like seeds of the main narrative, conflict, and characters were planted sparingly, and then the narration pulls our attention away to focus on the growth of a distant plant. Yet again, because this is a demo, maybe the full game will be able to transition to the main characters’ perspectives and tone smoothly, and introducing Eri’s mini-story first will make sense in the overall narrative even if she may or may not appear again or be relevant to the main story. Maybe Eri would wish she had reached out to Ashikaga after all even though they had only shared small moments together, I don’t know, but I hope such opportunities for emotional impact can be expanded upon more, and I hope it works out as I believe in the team’s creative direction.
I raise these concerns because the game has great potential to play with the medium of visual novels and provide a stunning experience. The art is, as always, an extremely beautiful and eye-catching feature. Nevertheless, the ease of reading is a crucial make-or-break, especially for a heavily narrative-driven visual novel. I want to recommend this game to people, but I can also understand if they may be initially put off by the clunky appearance of the text at this point. Moreover, for a game that very much hinges on its storytelling, perhaps beta readers/testers can be used to check and ensure the quality of the narrative experience. I really hope for this game to succeed and be the best version it can be, so thank you for your hard work and all the best! :)