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(+3)

Appreciate the feedback.

I wanted to keep Sleeping Sister small in scope, which is why the choices were rather limited. Originally I actually wanted to be able to have her sleep in different positions(on her front, on her side) but ended up scrapping it because it felt like too much scope creep. I'm much more open to making a game with a greater depth of actions and choices.

There was certainly a lot of re-use of writing across like-passages(such as the orgasms) due to me being lazy and not feeling like writing a bespoke variation for each one. It's certainly something I would do differently now, and honestly isn't that hard to do with a text-based game.

And I really appreciate your last point. I've honestly not gotten much, if any good feedback on my actual writing. I definitely see what you mean, which basically boils down to the classic "show, don't tell" which is definitely a weak point of mine I can improve on.

(+1)

Hey, if you need someone to go over your writing and proof-reading, i don't mind volunteering.
I'm an avid reader and write short stories from time to time on reddit's r/writingprompts

The "Show don't tell" point is something I also struggle with. I think the only reason I could notice it in your text is maybe it felt like I was reading something that I would've written. If you ever need Alpha or Beta readers do tell me, I'm happy to help.