Oh, thanks for the help... like I spent hours trying to figure out how to access the menu and I got frustrated because I couldn't, I almost deleted the game from the pc completely... nothing against it, dev but messing with that function was a shot in the foot, I I save my game often so I was pissed off at this idea. yes, i managed to find the backpack it was in the clearing "bonfire" after mc awakens from her centenary sleep!