Stop harassing people. This is your last warning.
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yeah chill down
You have to stop this or else you will again get permamantly banned like before. I cannot manage you to do that because there would be a time that you will get banned if you wont stop harassing people.
I don't mean to come off as rude when I say this because it's clear you are going through something right now, but bringing attention to yourself like this isn't going to help.
I've been there years ago.
Take a break from the internet for awhile, take a shower, look in the mirror and reflect. Go outside for a walk for a month and take the action to focus on what is going on in your subconscious, sit outdoors in stillness, meditate, and then journal your thoughts down on pen and paper after 15-20 minutes of just focusing on your thoughts. That will help give you clarity on what you need to heal from.
It'll help you get inner peace.
With respect I don't want to derail the thread too much, but what you're trying to get is a permanent state of happiness from what you're telling me. It's just not gonna happen.
What you should do and need to figure out is your purpose more than trying to maintain a constant state of happiness. That is where you are feeling these negative emotions.
FORMAL EDIT: I will say once you know your purpose and sort out your subconscious thoughts I promise you that, like it had done for me when I was working on myself that life will get better for you. You just have to show up for yourself.