My sincere condolences for your loss, it's never easy with a loss of a loved one. I'm fairly new to the community but from what I've read so far you seem to be an emotionaly intelligent person so i doubt you need to hear all this but just in case it might help. I've read the comments below and we are all right there behind you and will gladly wait for as long as you need, please take your time to grieve properly. The sense of loss and pain may never truly go away but it numbs and mellows out with time.