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I like this mournful story: its pacing is great, the breaks are well placed. The story's narration is somewhat comforting in a way, as if told over a campfire or bed. Fairytale-esque I'd say.

The piece has the same problem as your last submission, "Predator." The theme, whilst present, seems to get swept away. I can see the theme here, but it's more like an undertone.

Overall, I still love your work. I can't wait to see what comes next from you!