Okay, so yes, your life does depend on it, you just don't know it yet.
Thankfully, some nice guy commented giving a short tutorial on how to download the game for Chromebook and gave a link to the official google doc for the game. I'm gonna paste it below :]
1. download Linux
2. Open the terminal
3. Type in or copy paste this:
/bin/bash -c "$(curl -fsSL https://install.clangen.io/stable/linux-glib2.31.sh)"
And here's the google doc! Google Doc
I could only find one video it was kinda bad, so no video, but hopefully this is enough :]
Also, eventually when it is your birthday, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! :D