I love the game so far, the UI is amazing, the lore is intruiging, and I like the characters, but I do have some issues.
1) The english is this game is, honestly, not good. There's broken english, unnatural phrasing, and bad grammar all over the place. This is by far my biggest criticism of the game. The bizarre and sometime outright bad choice of words really throw off any kind of mood trying to be built, and in some instances completely ruin the pacing of scenes. I have a feeling this is machine translation, but you really need to get an english proofreader to iron out these issues and make it flow correctly. Hell, I'll do it for free. For example - The fight with the kidnapper where he says "Don't think I won't fight back!" being unnecessay padding for what should be a fast paced action scene, female lead thinking about her PTSD and cursing that it's come back when she's meant to be on the verge of a panic attack seeming unrealistic, the sentence after Luke leaves where female lead thinks about how she's anything like a bunny being worded weirdly, Dane calling us "Sillyhead", just off the top of my head.
2) Shoehorning, another thing that leads to pacing issues. The worst instance being the female lead's flashback to her parents murders. This felt so unnatural to happen at the moment it did and felt like you were just trying to shove the information in for us. Please remember this is only a demo, we don't need all the information right now, even for our own character, we can get hints! This is a visual novel, show, don't tell. We can fill in the blanks and information can always be introduced more naturally later on - for example a flashback during a conversation where we as the main character open up to the male leads.
3) Dane and Enox need looking at in my opinion. Dane's colour combination with the current saturation just doesn't look fabulous - His eyes are way too bright for the rest of his colour palette, I would probably suggest desaturating them or darkening them somehow. And I noticed on Enox's in game sprite there's a weird line on his neck which makes it look like his head was pasted on the rest of the body, the lines don't meet up correctly and the shading is odd, it just looks wrong, like they were done as 2 separate pieces and merged together.
4) Why is female lead ok with being kissed by Luke and Dane? In her own mind, she only met them earlier in the day, even while panicking, I cannot see how she would have no comment about this?
Overall, a good demo! With a bit of refinement, I think this could be ok!