Hey, your game actually looks pretty awesome!
I don't think you have much to worry about for the storefront. The screenshots and video do a good job of showing off the game's visual style, which has that clean 3D modeling that's really satisfying to look at. The clip is just the right length, but does it have any audio? I didn't hear any, it would help the viewer's engagement if it did.
The background is attractive and the characters there are really cute, there aren't any typos I can see, and the about section is fine. Your page is great, that's all I can say :)
Here's my game if you'd like to give it a shot, it's also an RPG: https://wasabiiii.itch.io/grass-elemental-demo-demo
The storefront is genuinely getting me excited to play this!
(Also the panties screenshot is PERFECT, immediately sold me with that one XD)